I’m neither prophetic nor particularly adventurous, but I like to think that for a few riveting moments I was of a mind with the biblical Jonah—nervous, alone, and a little hungry—as I too journeyed deep into the belly of a beast.

My monster? ...A M-iQ Flight Type Dish Machine from Meiko USA. A 21-footer. 200 pounds of sleek-mean steel. Capable of cleaning pots, plates and wares faster than the Brady Bunch’s Alice and Mayberry’s Aunt Bee—all hopped-up on RedBull—and working as a power duo…

That’s right. I took a ride through an uber-efficient commercial warewasher. Here’s how it all shook out:

The first step: be an idiot. Check.


It’s surprisingly quiet and calming. Perfect for reflection on life choices.


Restraining order whaaat? Tom from Meiko USA is totally cool with me hitching a ride in his clean machine!


Someone call Guinness about the land speed record...


Formerly a dirty birdy, I emerge glowing. Now let’s go taste some quiche! 


Thanks for the lift, guys! See you this May at booth #806!