Bourdain, Uncensored (NSFW)

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Everybody’s favorite loudmouth, unapologetic chef Anthony Bourdain spoke in front of a large group at the NRA Show this morning. From waxing poetic about quick-food burgers to the horrors of boiling cauldrons of spaghetti Bolognese served at hotel chains across the globe, Bourdain had the audience laughing and clapping in approval for a full hour. Here are a few of our favorite sound bites.

“How does Andrew Zimmern do it, by the way? Poor bastard. … First thing in the morning, a late breakfast with a nut sac.”

“Ask yourself: ‘Can every grandmother in Italy make food better than everything I’m about to serve?’ If the answer is yes, stay the fuck out of the restaurant business.”

“When people serve you food, they are, in a sense, talking to you.”

“From repetition and love and insistence and necessity, generation after generation, good cooks transformed the very inedible to something delicious. It’s the history of gastronomy.”

“We have a pool on my show, who gets sick first—it’s always from the breakfast buffet at the major chain hotel … The veterans among us stick to the club sandwich.”

“Every hotel in the world has spaghetti Bolognese on the menu, and they don’t care about it. It’s just there for tourists … The guy serving it thinks: This asshole will be on a plane halfway across the Pacific before he goes off like a bottle rocket.”

“When I started cooking, we all got into it because we are unlovely people, unemployable in any other job, and we have poor communication skills. …. For people who were uncomfortable communicating, we are now communication leaders. People actually care what chefs think.”

“Young people in their 20s are now spending money they cannot afford at places like La Bernadin. … In my 20s, what we spent on concerts, records, and cocaine, they are now spending on restaurants.”

“You go into a restaurant, everyone is taking pictures of the fucking food. It you didn’t tweet it, it didn’t happen. … When you share on Instagram, you want everyone one to feel very bad about what they’re eating. You’re not sharing that you’re sitting on the couch in shit-stained underwear with a bag of Cheetos.”

“’When I started cooking, ‘was it the tastiest tomato?’ was all I cared about, the tastiest tomato at a good price point. … I’m a dad now, and like any great hypocrite, my daughter eats only organic tomatoes.”

“Ferocious loyalty.” – how diners feel about their favorite burger brands that use good meat, incredible freshness, and take care of the employees and environment

“Ted Nugent and I agree on just about nothing, we’re ideologically opposite. … But I got Ted Nugent to agree with me that Michelle Obama’s [Kids LiveWell] initiative was a good idea. … If Ted Nugent and I agree your donut is too big, then you’ve got a problem.”

For more Anthony, read our exclusive interview!

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